Thursday, May 28, 2015

Living a Half-Life Part 1



Yoko Ono, Half-A-Room, 1967

For many of us struggling with codependency, the concept of ‘wholeness’ can seem unfamiliar and out of reach.  Living as a ‘whole’ person means continually working toward developing our natural talents, abilities, and interests/passions, essentially, nurturing those things that inspire/motivate us. This can be greatly hindered by our primary relationship- i.e. spouse, partner, etc.  In a codependent relationship, it is common to become so preoccupied and in-tune with the other person’s needs/wants that our own sense of self diminishes.  It is, as if, without the presence of the other person, we exist as ‘half a person’. 

When we are out with others, engaging in a creative activity, or at school/work, it can feel as if our thoughts/attention is split.  Half of our energy is directed toward what is in the here and now and the other half is preoccupied with the other person who is not present.  Others may even point out to us that it is as if we are there, but not really there.  As a result, we may then begin to limit our time spent with those outside our primary relationship.  Gradually, our primary relationship becomes our only relationship. In addition, if we are not used to doing things without the other person, then we may avoid engaging in solitary activities, thus further limiting opportunities to develop our selfhood. 
Living life as ‘half a person’ can create all kinds of uncomfortable emotions such as:

Anxiety

Guilt

Anger/Frustration

Depression

Resentment

In the next chapter, we will ask ourselves specific questions in order to fully understand how being ‘half a person’ impacts our everyday life. 

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My Passion

Along with my desire and commitment to helping individuals find peace and
fulfillment in their relationships is a passion for art. While creative expression can and has been a reflection of the struggles of a society,
it can also be a reflection of the inner struggle of an individual artist. The
expression of that struggle has the potential to inspire self-exploration and
positive change in the lives of others. May this blog bring that potential
to you and your relationships.